


Give Me a Reason

by Fornever_Eden



Category: Suits (TV)
Genre: Drama & Romance, Jealous Harvey, M/M, pining Harvey, somewhat angsty
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-09
Updated: 2014-11-30
Packaged: 2018-02-24 17:42:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 12,423
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2590490
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fornever_Eden/pseuds/Fornever_Eden
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>For a lawyer, Harvey really should know when to shut up and when Pleading the Fifth doesn't help his case.</p><p>Or: You don't know what you have until it's gone.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Such a Fool

**Author's Note:**

> I know I have another story I should be working on, but this plot has kind of been taken over my brain. At least this story I don't plan on it being long like the other one. Maybe 2 or 3 chapters at most. And I already have about half written.
> 
> Disclaimers: I don't own Suits nor am I making money off of this story. The titles come from different songs that I will include in the summaries. The songs sort set the tone for the chapter. I have playlist that I play on repeat when I am writing. As for the story title it comes from Pink's "Just Give Me a Reason". 
> 
> As for this chapter:
> 
> I’d never ask you cause deep down
> 
> I’m certain I know what you’d say
> 
> You’d say I’m sorry believe me
> 
> I love you but not in that way
> 
>   
> “Not In That Way” – Sam Smith

Chapter 1: Such a Fool

“Kid, cancel your plans tonight. We’re going to a party.” Harvey said barely stopping at Mike’s desk.

“What if I already have plans?” Mike said quickly picking up a file and chasing after Harvey. He felt like that was all he did: Chase after Harvey’s back. Every time he thought Harvey was within reach, Harvey slipped through his fingers. It was like he was trying to hold water in his hands. 

“That’s funny because you don’t have plans anyways.” Harvey quirked his eyebrow barely giving Mike a glance.

“I could. I could have a date.” Mike mumbled.

The sarcastic response was clearly written on Harvey’s raised eyebrow.

“What? I could. You don’t know. I was just saying, I could.”

“Come to my place at 6. Then we’ll leave at 7.” Harvey rolled his eyes before continuing to his office. Clearly, Mike didn’t have a date.

“Is it formal? Because I don’t have a tux.”

“Don’t worry. I already knew you wouldn’t.”

“How?”

Harvey rolled his eyes.

“Harvey, that’s creepy don’t look in my closet.” Mike all but shouted at Harvey’s back. A few heads looked up from their computers to stare at him before he muttered an apology.

>>>

When Mike arrived at Harvey’s condo there was a sleek black tux laid out on the back of the couch. He ran his fingers over the smooth fabric taking in the rich feel. It was definitely not something he would have been able to afford.  
“Do you like it?” Harvey asked stepping out of his room as he buttoned his cuff.

“Yeah.” Mike whispered.

“Go put it on.” 

Harvey quietly let go of the breath he held when Mike stepped out of the bedroom in the tux. He knew Mike would look amazing in the tux. The tux fit Mike well, just like he knew it would. It accented Mike’s slender frame wonderfully.

“I feel like a butler or a server.” Mike said tugging at his bow tie trying to figure out how to tie it. “Like would you like some hors d’oeuvre, sir? The shrimp is simply delightful.” Mike scoffed pretending to hand Harvey a platter.

Harvey rolled his eyes. “Here let me.” Harvey stood behind Mike as he tied the bow. If Harvey let his hands linger a little on Mike’s shoulders, it wasn’t mentioned. “Do you know how to dance?”

“There’s going to be dancing?”

Harvey nodded taking a step back. Instantly Mike missed Harvey’s warmth.

“Can…can you teach me?” Mike asked his voice heavy with a desire that he never dared mention.

Harvey turned away walking farther into the living space. Mike closed his eyes worried that he took it too far until he heard soft jazz playing.

“May I?” Harvey asked holding out his hand. 

“Do you lead or do I?” Mike asked taking Harvey’s hand. “Right, of course you lead. Stupid alpha males.” Mike muttered.

Harvey raised his brow. “There’s not much to it. You’re not going to have to do the flamenco. Just feel the music and move to it.”

“Like at the club?”

Harvey’s jaw clenched at the thought of Mike going to clubs with random people touching him. “No. More intimate.”

“Nothing’s more intimate than someone grinding up on your junk.”

“This isn’t some trashy frat party. Behave.”

“So then like this?” Mike asked stepping closer to Harvey pressing his body against Harvey.

“Yeah.” Harvey’s voice gravelly.

Harvey held Mike close as they swayed to the music, neither of them wanting to be the first to let go.

“Harvey?” A female voice sounded from the hallway near the door. It wasn’t Donna that was as much as Mike knew as he quickly stepped away from Harvey.

“Your doorman let me up.” A beautiful woman said rounding the corner. Her dark brown hair fell in loose curls over her shoulders. She wore a dark blue dress that emphasized her figure. She was beautiful. “Are you ready? Oh is this the associate who is accompanying us to the party? I’m Dana Scott.” She held out her perfectly manicured hand. Mike gently shook it. 

Harvey stepped close to her, kissing her cheek.

“Mike, this is Scottie. Scottie and I went to Harvard together. The dinner is her doing and for some reason she wants to talk business.” Harvey introduced, his hand never left her hip.

“Don’t lie Harvey, you want to go.” She playfully hit Harvey with her clutch.

Mike bit his lip watching a smile spread easily across Harvey’s face. 

“Shall we?” Harvey gestured.

The drive to the Waldorf was quiet. Dana was busy talking to Harvey about business and some not so secret sexual innuendos. Mike wanted to vomit. 

Mike watched Harvey place his hand on the small of Dana’s back as he guided her through the crowd. She was everything Mike wasn’t. She was a woman with a real Harvard Law degree. She was a lawyer in London, a real lawyer practicing law. What was he compared to her?

“Business or pleasure?” A man with an accent said sliding onto the stool next to Mike. He was tall with dark red hair that he managed to style to look like a businessman crossed with a surfer. His green eyes held a playful spark in them. Even under the tux, Mike could tell he was in shape. 

“There’s pleasure at these things?”

“Well, there is free alcohol. But I meant are you someone’s date?”

“Not really. I came with Harvey Specter, but he’s my boss. So…”

“Not a date?”

“No.”

“Good. I’m glad. You hear the rumors so I wouldn’t want you to fall victim to the Specter Charm. I’m Adam McAdams because my parents were sadists.”

Mike laughed. “Mike Ross.”

“Mike Ross, can I buy you a free drink.” 

Mike glanced at Harvey’s back realizing that he was never going to be Dana or even the male version of her. That maybe this was the last straw. They had spent months chasing after each other, flirting close to the edge only to have Harvey pull away. Some days Harvey would lean in so close to Mike that he could smell the spicy aftershave Harvey used or he would let his hands linger longer than socially acceptable. Then other days Harvey would come into the office smelling of flowers with a faint trace of lipstick on the corner of his lips. It was like a game that only Harvey knew the rules to. And Mike was left wondering who was winning. Sitting at the bar, after Harvey winked at him telling him to mingle, he had spent months pining over someone who was clearly only in it for the game. He was done watching Harvey’s latest hook up.

“Sure.” Mike said smiling. “I’d like that.”

It was easy to talk with Adam. He actually listened to everything Mike said even asking follow up questions. Harvey would never do that unless Mike was in severe emotional distress and at Donna’s urging. But Mike couldn’t believe that Adam, who moved to New York a few years ago from Australia and graduated with degrees in finance and business, was still talking to him. Mike thought his sides were going to burst from the way Adam talked about his childhood growing up as a red head in Australia. Sunscreen was a must and peeling skin was a constant.

“Mike.” Harvey said sternly gripping Mike’s upper arm yanking him off his stool. “What are you doing?”

“Making friends. You told me to mingle. This is Adam McAdams. So awesome his parents named him twice.”

“You’re drunk. This is a business party.” Harvey hissed. “Don’t embarrass the firm.”

“I’m not. It’s what he said.”

“I believe I said my parents were sadists.” Adam piped.  
“His name isn’t Adam. It’s McCarthy Adam McAdams. He’s the president and founder of Squared Publishing.”

“I don’t go by that name, Harvey, you know that.”

“Mike has to go home. It was nice see you again McCarthy.”

“Here’s my card. Call me.” Adam said sliding a business card into Mike’s front pocket before winking. Harvey grip tightened.

“Okay.” 

Once Adam turned his back Harvey reached into Mike’s pocket grabbed the card tearing it up.

“Harvey! That was rude.”

“What difference does it make? You’re not going to call him.”

“That’s my choice. And I think I will.” Mike said turning on his heel. He quickly walked away unsure of where he was going, but just knowing he had to get away from Harvey.

“Mike.” Harvey said grabbing Mike’s wrist. 

Mike spun, standing closer than he thought to Harvey. “What is your problem?!”

“You’re not going to call him because…” Harvey started before his lips came crashed down on Mike’s. He traced his against Mike’s lips until they parted letting out a moan. When they pulled away gasping for breath, Harvey pressed his forehead against Mike’s. “You’re not going to call him because you’re coming home with me.”

>>>

Bright golden light greeted Mike as he slowly opened his eyes. It didn’t help the pounding headache. He stretched relishing the feel of the soft sheets. He smiled to himself as memories started to come back. Last night, he and Harvey (and Scottie) had gone to a party for the firm. Mike didn’t bother with the details. All he knew was that there was going to be free alcohol. Then towards the end of the night Harvey asked Mike if he wanted to come over. Mike smiled, remembering that Harvey was jealous when he was walking to Adam before telling Mike to come home with him. Even though Harvey would never admit it, Mike could tell Harvey had one drink past tipsy. Even so, after spending the last few month pining over Harvey, Mike couldn’t say no. He never could say no to him. Mike smiled realizing that Harvey had the same feelings for him.

“Good you’re awake.” Harvey said walking out from a side room. Probably the bathroom, Mike thought. 

“Mike?”

“What?” Mike asked, instantly regretting shaking his head.

“I said I have to go to the office.” Harvey sighed walking to his dresser to pick out a tie. 

“It’s Saturday.”

“Saturday does follow Friday.”

“That’s not what I meant. Why do you have to go in? Did something happen?”

“No.” Harvey shook his head. “It’s nothing urgent.”

“Then why can’t it wait till Monday? I was thinking we could get breakfast.” Mike said sitting up and letting the covers fall to expose his chest. Harvey’s eyes wandered from Mike’s eyes to his nipples before settling where the sheets had stopped on his lap, barely covering his groin. He swallowed remembering the feel of Mike’s soft smooth skin under his fingers and the sounds Mike made. It was intoxicating. His pants were becoming uncomfortably tight.  
Harvey cleared his throat. “I think you mean lunch.”

“Even more so you should stay.”

“Mike, what happened last night…”

“Was amazing.”

“Was a mistake. You obviously still have feelings for Rachel.”

“What are you talking about? Rachel and I broke up a long time ago. You want to talk about girlfriends? What about Scottie?” Mike asked furrowing his brows.

“What about Scottie?”

“You were all over her until I started talking to Adam.” Mike said angrily. He moved to stand before remembering the lack of clothing. He suddenly felt uncomfortably underdressed. “And us being drunk? I mean sure we both had a little too much to drink but…is that what you really think about last night? A mistake?”

“Yes. I’ll see you at the office tomorrow.” Harvey said swallowing thickly. “Just lock up before you leave.” Harvey added before turning his back on Mike. 

It was long after Mike heard the door slam shut when he started to move. As quickly as he could, Mike got dressed wanting to get away from any memories of last night. His body shook as tears threatened to escape. He wasn’t going to cry especially not in Harvey Specter’s bedroom.


	2. I'm All Messed Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Why do you take me down this road
> 
> If you don’t wanna walk with me?
> 
> Why do you exit, go it alone
> 
> When you could just talk to me?
> 
>   
> 
> 
> “Now I’m All Messed Up” – Tegan and Sara
> 
>   
> 
> 
> For a lawyer, Harvey really should know when to shut up and when Pleading the Fifth doesn't help his case.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the support! You guys are awesome.
> 
> Harvey might be a lot more of an ass in this chapter. But he has his reasons. Sort of. Well, yes.

**Chapter 2: I’m All Messed Up**

Harvey wanted to throw up. 

Every time he went by Mike’s desk there were flowers that kept everyone guessing who it was from. Donna told him that there was a betting pool on who Mike’s admirer was. Apparently Harvey was one of the top three candidates. He wasn’t even sure why.

Then there were the text messages, it seemed like Mike was looking down at his phone every five minutes smiling or laughing to himself. At one point Harvey threatened to throw his phone out the window the next time he looked at it because this was a professional establishment and having a fuck buddy was obviously interfering with his work. That earned him the silent treatment for the rest of the day Either Mike’s work was on Harvey’s desk before Harvey arrived or Donna handed them to him telling him to talk to Mike. But what could he say without it sounding like he was jealous?

Mike was sitting in Harvey’s office when his phone vibrated in his pocket. He smiled when he saw Adam’s name appear on the screen.

_From: Adam_  
 _Knock, knock_

Mike frowned unsure if Adam sent the text to the right person.

_To: Adam_  
 _Who’s there?_

_From: Adam_  
 _You know._

_To: Adam_  
 _You know who?_

_From: Adam_  
 _Yes. AVADA KEDAVRA!_

Mike stared at the screen chuckling softly. Harvey looked up staring at the stupid, dopey grin on Mike’s face. It was the greatest smile Harvey ever saw. And he wasn’t the cause of it. Mike missed the deep frown lines on Harvey’s face as he buried his face back into the case.

_From: Adam_  
 _Sorry I’m in a board meeting. It’s boring. So I looked up Harry Potter jokes._

_To: Adam_  
 _You’re such a nerd. Shouldn’t you be paying attention?_

_From: Adam_  
 _They don’t care about what I do. I am their god._

Mike scoffed smiling. 

Harvey sighed loudly. “If you’re going to flirt with Rachel do that at your own time. You’re being paid to work not flirt.” Harvey said staring at Mike.

“I told you Rachel and I are done. How many times do I have to tell you?” Mike said roughly closing his folder and stacking the folders and various paperwork.

“Mike—“ Harvey said softly.

“Don’t. I’ll get out of your space. If you need anything, I’ll be at my desk.” Mike said picking up the stack. “By the way it wasn’t with Rachel. It was Adam.” Mike added unsure why he felt compelled to tell Harvey.”

“Shit.” Harvey said sinking back into his seat.

“Harvey, whatever is going on between you and Mike, fix it.” Donna entered the office shortly after Mike left.

“Sure.” Harvey nodded smiling weakly.

The smile Harvey gave broke Donna’s heart.

>>>

A week passed with no mention of the night Harvey and Mike spent together. But it was clear Harvey didn’t want anything other than a working relationship with Mike. Maybe he was still in the proverbial closet. Their friendship alone was tenuous at best. So he had Donna pass his files to Harvey or he gave them directly to Harvey without so much as a word or a glance.

It was the last place Mike wanted to be. If he hadn’t been in such a rush leaving Harvey’s condo he wouldn’t have put on the wrong shoes. He wouldn’t have put on the dress shoes that Harvey bought him—the ones that were currently in his closet because he couldn’t bring himself to throw away Italian leather—instead of his Chucks. So, there he stood just at the edge of the hallway entrance thinking about all the places he’d rather be than right there. He’d rather wrestle a bear, naked, and covered in honey than talk to Harvey. He’d rather be floating in space with no oxygen than in the same room as Harvey. 

Mike took a deep breath before turning to Harvey’s office. He had to get out all of his nervous energy before Donna saw him. She’d see it as a sign of weakness and interrogate him.

“Donna, my favorite person in the world. I brought your favorite.” Mike said placing a cup of her favorite coffee on her desk.

“What’d you do?”

“What are you talking about? I always bring you coffee.”

“Harvey’s been quiet.”

“Maybe he’s working.”

“There is a working quiet and then there is I’m-desperately-trying-not-to-think-about-the-thing-that-I-am-totally-thinking-about quiet.” Donna replied glancing into Harvey’s office. Harvey stared at his computer not reading or typing, just staring. It wasn’t the first time she saw him like this. She first noticed it months ago when she noticed that her boss finally realized he was in love with his associate. That day she caught him staring at Mike every few minutes, but turn away when Mike glanced up. He’d ruffle Mike’s hair praising his work. It was all very elementary school boy crush antics. It was adorable.

“How is that my doing?”

“Because you went to the party with him last week.”

“No, Scottie went with him. I was a third wheel.”

“You were not. If anything Scottie was the third wheel.” Donna said concealing the urge to frown with a light smile.

“Well he spent most of the evening ignoring me in favor of her. Anyway I have to talk to him about this case.” Mike said waving his folder trying to calm his thumping heart. She didn’t need to know that it was empty. Mike realized belatedly that this was the first time he ever felt compelled to have an excuse just to talk to Harvey.

“Harvey?” Mike asked gently as he walked into the office.

“Mike.” Harvey straightened in seat and quickly started typing. “I’m busy; what is it?”

“Right.” Mike raised his eyebrow. “I left my shoes at your place last…time I was there.”

“Oh yeah. Come by later tonight to get it.”

“I can’t.” Mike said scratching the bridge of his nose. “Can you just bring it tomorrow?”

“Why can’t you come over?”

“I just can’t.”

“Why?”

“Why does it matter? I just can’t.”

“Mike.” Harvey said in way that Mike knew his patience was wearing thin.

“I have a date.” Mike sighed.

“Rachel?”

“I told you Rachel and I have been done for months.”

“Who?”

“What difference does it make? Can you just bring my shoes tomorrow?” Mike sighed wishing for the conversation to be over.

“Is it with McCarthy?”

“Adam?” Mike replied. He paused before saying, “Yeah it is.”

Harvey slowly stood as he raised his eyebrow questioning if he heard Mike correctly. There was no jealous ping going through his chest. There wasn’t. That was the story he was going to go with at least. They never talked about the night. Sure he was the one who made the decision, but he wasn’t prepared for Mike to have a date. Harvey didn’t want to admit it but that morning waking up with his arms wrapped around Mike was the best feeling. And every morning since has left him yearning for something he couldn’t have. At the office it wasn’t much better. The chemistry between them changed. It was like Mike was everywhere reminding him of what he so desperately wanted was slipping away. Mike was pulling away from him, and he was the one pushing Mike away.

“I told you not to call him.” Harvey growled.

Mike clenched his fists. “You’re not my boyfriend; you’re not even my friend. Who I choose to date doesn’t concern you.” Mike said.

“It does if it affects your work, which it has.” Harvey snapped seeing jealousy and anger.

“That’s all you care about, my work ethics? You’re such an ass.” Mike said before storming out of the room.

“Fuck.” Harvey sank in his chair once Mike left.

“Harvey, are you okay?” Donna asked taking a seat across from him. “I could see the flames coming off of Mike. You’re an idiot, you know? He loves you.”

“You heard him. How could he love me when I’m not even his fucking friend?” Harvey said wanting to throw something, including himself out the window. 

“What happened between you two?”

Harvey looked up at Donna frowning. “I did something stupid.”

“That much is obvious.”

“The night of the party we slept together.”

“Okay, that doesn’t sound too bad. Did you burn out or something?”

“No. I told him it was a mistake.”

Donna stared at her boss. “Why on earth would you say that? You’ve been in love with him since the Chilton.”

Harvey returned her gaze. “The Chilton?”

“Just because you’re too oblivious to notice it doesn’t mean that you weren’t. It just took you this long to realize it. Seriously, why would you go to the party with Scottie and Mike? It’s like you were asking him to hook up with someone.”

“She wanted me to meet Darby. I wasn’t expecting McCarthy to be there. Damn it.”

“You and McCarthy fight worse than brothers. So, what are you going to do?”

“I don’t know.” Harvey said dragging his hand down his face wishing he could have a redo. “I fucked up.”

>>>

If Harvey was in the business of being honest with himself he knew McCarthy was better for Mike than he ever could be. He tried to forget with dates with beautiful women and mindless sex. He tried to be honest telling himself that this was for the best. He just couldn’t get himself to believe any of it. 

“Harvey, is there anything you need me to do?” Mike asked leaning his head into Harvey’s office.

Harvey debated whether or not to make Mike file a subpoena just to make him cancel a date. “No, nothing urgent.”

“Then I’ll see you Monday. Good night.” Mike said leaving before Harvey could even give a reply. 

That was how the next few weeks went. Mike wouldn’t spend more time than necessary around Harvey while Harvey was forced to watch his mistake unfold. Harvey watched Mike’s sudden transformation with barely contained jealousy. 

Harvey looked down at the crowded street imagining the indiscernible couple kissing was Mike and Adam. He missed his chance. For some reason whenever they were in the room together the only thing Harvey could think about was the feel of Mike under him. How _right_ it felt. So Harvey tried to limit their interactions, but it left him wondering about what could have been.

In the beginning Donna was relaying messages to him about how Mike and McCarthy were doing. She told him all about the dates McCarthy took Mike on. There were dinners at local diners and pubs, nothing extravagant because Mike preferred burgers and pizzas to steak and filet mignon. Apparently McCarthy arranged a movie marathon in the Smithsonian for his birthday since it was happiest place Mike knew growing up. How McCarthy managed that Harvey didn’t know then again he didn’t even know it was Mike’s birthday. But it was exactly the sort of dates Harvey knew Mike would have enjoyed because it was the kind of date he wouldn’t have taken him on. 

Harvey would have taken him on rides in exotic cars to expensive restaurants. They would watch movies, of course, but he wasn’t sure if would have thought about the Smithsonian, even though Mike told him the story. 

It was about a year ago when Mike reluctantly told Harvey why he didn’t want to go with him to meet a client at the museum. Every year, before his parents died, he used to go there with his parents for his birthday. Harvey had held Mike’s trembling hand, for the first time, telling him to just remember the good times as they drove to meet the client. They held hands all the way up to the front doors when Harvey told him for the fist time that he was proud of Mike even though he was still shaking. 

After the Smithsonian date, he all but shouted telling Donna to stop. It was torture. It didn’t help that there was still a very palpable tension between him and Mike.

There were times when Harvey tried, honestly tried, to make things better between them. There was one night in particular. It was late, 2 in the morning, before they found the smoking gun in their case.

“Harvey, check this out.” Mike said excitedly plopping down on the couch next to Harvey thrusting a page into Harvey’s hands.

“You’re amazing.” Harvey said turning to Mike. Maybe it the exhaustion or that it was the first time that Mike willingly sat this close to Harvey in a long time, but all Harvey wanted to do was lean in and kiss him until Mike forgot his name. And he knew exactly what he had to say. The words “I’m sorry” weighed heavy on his tongue ready for relief. 

“Mike…” Harvey whispered. Mike looked up from staring at the paper still reveling in finding exactly what they needed. He turned to meet Harvey’s gaze and the familiar desire burned low in his stomach. For the first time, Harvey was looking at Mike like he was the only person in the world who mattered. It was the look that made him fall for Harvey. When did Harvey get that close, Mike thought, as he licked his lips remembering the feel of Harvey’s lips on his skin. Remembering the way that it left his skin burning for more. “Mike, I’m…” Harvey started when a trill from Mike’s phone interrupted him.

Mike stared at him holding his breath waiting for Harvey to continue when his phone trilled again. He grabbed his phone off of the table noticing that it was Adam.

“You should get that.” Harvey said darkly turning back to the case file. Disappointment washed over Mike the spell of the moment was broken.

“It’s Adam. He’s just wondering if I got home safely. I told him that I was working late.” Mike rambled unsure of why he was telling Harvey.

Harvey nodded. “You should go home; it’s late.”

“Harvey.” Mike said, gently placing his hand on Harvey’s knee. “What were you going to say?”

Harvey stared at Mike’s hand. “It doesn’t matter anymore. Get home safely.” Harvey said standing up and collecting all the papers. “I’ll clean up.”

“Harvey.” Mike repeated.

“It’s fine.” Harvey placed the files back into the box. “I hope McCarthy treats you right. The way you deserve.”

Mike gave him a soft smile. “He does.”

“Good night, Mike.” Harvey nodded feeling like he was admitting defeat. 

“Good night, Harvey.” Mike said. He picked up his messenger bag before leaving the office. It wasn’t until he was safely concealed behind a wall when he leaned against it choking as he took deep breaths. He was sure Harvey was going to apologize or do something. And he would have taken him back. He would have dived back into the drowning love he had for his boss. But the worse part was that he wasn’t sure if he was grateful for Adam’s text or not. 

After that night, Harvey and Mike sat an appropriate distance from each other. The tension was still there like they were standing too close to a fire not wanting to do anything because this time there was no recovering from a burn.


	3. A Day Late

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So let me get this straight
> 
> You say now you loved me all along
> 
> What made you hesitate
> 
> To tell me with words what you really feel
> 
>   
> "A Day Late" - Anberlin
> 
>   
> Mike wants a reason and Harvey takes too long to respond.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the kudos, comments, and for reading this! 
> 
> This chapter is lot more somber than the other chapters. It also ends on a confusing part. Which I will discuss in the ending note. Because.

**Chapter 3: A Day Late**

“Penny for your thoughts?” Adam asked kissing Mike’s temple. They were sitting on the couch at Adam’s condo watching Captain America. A month passed since Mike was so sure Harvey was going to apologize and tell him how he really felt. That night Mike resolved not to wait for Harvey anymore no matter how difficult it was. And it’s been a few days since the incident in Harvey’s office when Mike lied about Harvey not being his friend. Of course Mike wanted Harvey to be more than a just a friend, but since that day, friends didn’t even seem possible anymore. All they did now was go through the motions. 

“Hm?”

“You seem deep in thought.” 

“It’s nothing, just work.” Mike replied stroking his thumb on Adam’s hand. The past few months had been wonderful. Adam was different from Harvey. They spent hours talking about everything from their childhoods to their feelings to the future. But there was something holding Mike back from being completely happy. He saw the look on Harvey’s face, when he thought Mike wasn’t looking; it confused Mike. Every time they had to work together it was like the oxygen was suddenly sucked out of the room. Mike couldn’t breathe. And when their fingers brushed against each other, it was like an electric shock running through him. So, he held his breath waiting to be free of Harvey’s mystical hold on him because Harvey had his chance. He didn’t want it, so Mike moved on. It was the only sane thing to do.

“Actually that is something that I want to talk to you about.” Adam put the movie on pause as he turned to Mike. Adam brought Mike’s fingers up to his lips. “I told you that I’m in the middle of expanding my company. I have to go to LA to help set the new office up.”

“Oh, how long are you going to be gone?” Mike asked.

“You don’t understand.” Adam shook his head. “I have to move out there, but I want you to come with me. I know we haven’t known each other for very long but I feel this connection with you.”

“I feel it too.” Mike smiled hiding his apprehension. “But…I never left New York before.”

“I know, but this would be a good opportunity for you. You’d be able to come out from under Specter’s shadow. And…” Adam said before whispering for the first time, “I love you.”

“I love you, too.” Mike said, his heart pounding as he kissed him. He moved to straddle Adam. “But please tell me that I’m not going to be some trophy wife.”

“You’ll have to work to earn your keep, of course. Sex, though, is a good start.”

“How dare you; I’m not a prostitute.” Mike said playfully.

“Of course not. I don’t have enough money to afford you.” Adam said flipping Mike on to his back. “Tell me that you’ll at least think about it.”

“I’ll think about it, Dundee.” Mike nodded before nipping at Adam’s lip.

“I joke about wrestling a crocodile one time…” Adam mumbled sucking kisses along Mike’s neck.

“Eidetic memory.” Mike tapped his temple. “Now, I want to remember the feel of you inside me.”

**> >>**

Harvey stood just outside of the almost empty bullpen watching Mike awkwardly move his lips around the highlighter cap as he read a file. Moments like this reminded Harvey the way Mike was before everything happened, when he had a chance. Now it seemed like it pained Mike just to smile around him.

“Did you talk to Ellen Dillinger yet?” Harvey asked walking up to Mike’s desk, pushing the feeling of infinity imploding on itself farther within him.

Mike jumped startled to see someone else in what he thought was an empty room. “Um, yeah, I scheduled an appointment with her for Monday.” Mike said. 

“Good.” Harvey nodded as he turned to leave. “You should go home get some sleep. You’re working yourself thin. Work will still be here when you get back.”

Mike closed his eyes before he stood. “Actually there’s something I want to talk to you about.”

Harvey didn’t turn around his heart pounding in his chest. It was like a war was waging within him. Half of him was shouting with victory believing that Mike was going to tell him that he loved him; the other half, screamed don’t turn around that he’ll just get hurt again. In the end he didn’t need to turn around.

“I’m going to LA. I have a lot of vacation time accumulated, and I already talked to Jessica. I think she’s kind of thrilled that I won’t be here for awhile.” Mike laughed nervously as he rubbed his neck. “You know less of a chance someone finding out and all.”

“Why didn’t you ask me first?” Harvey asked swallowing thickly.

Mike brought his hand down to his pocket. “You know the answer. Come on we haven’t exactly been on friendly terms for awhile.”

“That was your choice.” Harvey said turning to stare at Mike. Anger and resentment started building up within Harvey. It was easier blaming everyone else than himself.

“You forced that choice.” Mike replied returning the glare.

Harvey took a deep breath not wanting to sound like a child on the verge of a temper tantrum. “For how long?”

“About a month.”

“When?”

“I leave tomorrow.”

Harvey’s heart sank. “This isn’t just a vacation, is it? Why LA?”

“Adam’s expanding his company and asked me if I wanted to go with him.” Mike said shrugging his shoulders like he was just moving down the street. “He, uh, actually asked me to move there with him.”

“Fucking McCarthy.” Harvey mumbled. He wasn’t sure who he was angry with, himself for letting Mike go or McCarthy for sweeping him up.

“So, what if I am? You know what fuck you, Harvey.” Mike shouted stepping closer to Harvey. Mike couldn’t believe that Harvey would even ask that. “Ever since that night you’ve been acting like a jealous boyfriend. When you’re the one who called your chance a mistake. You had a chance. I love him.” Mike looked straight at Harvey’s eyes, his gaze never wavering.

Sure it was belated that Harvey realized how wrong his choice of words was, but Harvey knew Mike was challenging him to argue. All he had to do was take everything back. But he wasn’t one to back down from a challenge no matter how petty, scoffed. “You don’t love him. How can you? You haven’t known him for that long.” 

“What difference does it make to you?”

“You deserve better than him.”

“What like you? God, Harvey, what is this? You’re acting like a child. I’m not some sort of fucking toy. You can’t just throw me away until someone else wants me. That’s not how this works.”

“Maybe it took me this long to realize what I was wanted.” Harvey said stepping closer to Mike reaching out for Mike. 

Mike inhaled sharply before stepping away. “You’re the one who told me that that night was a mistake.” He said hating the way his voice wavered. “Adam told me all about your guys’ stupid competitions. You just don’t like the fact that I’m with him. You know I loved you once. I even thought I could have been happy with you, but you just threw it back at me. I’m not some sort of toy for the two of to fight over. For the first time I’m putting my happiness before you.”

“Mike stay…please.” Harvey said softly just short of begging.

“Just give me one reason to stay.”

Harvey knew the words, he thought about them everyday, but they just didn’t want to come out.  
Mike counted to ten before nodding. “I’ll see you in a month.” With that he walked out of the bullpen without looking back resisting the urge to turn back.

**> >>**

The first week passed quietly at Pearson Specter without Mike. Harvey, against better judgment, walked passed Mike’s desk everyday. Whenever someone questioned him, he just said that Mike forgot to give him a file before leaving for vacation. No one believed him. It didn’t take long for the rumors to spread that Mike quit because they broke up.

“Harvey, you should go after him.” Donna said gently after the second week. They were supposed to be enjoying some scotch at Harvey’s condo. 

“I’m not going to, Donna, he’s a grown man and he made his choice.”

“He was waiting for you call his bluff. But it’s like you two are playing a game of chicken and at this rate no one is going to win.” Donna held out her tumbler for Harvey to pour more scotch. She was still hoping for Mike to come back. 

“Donna, it’s over.” Harvey replied sternly signaling the end of the conversation.

Whenever Mike’s name was brought it Harvey responded clinically and succinctly. So much so, no one mentioned him around Harvey. Harvey never spoke of Mike again and before he knew it, it was the end of the four weeks. 

“Harvey.” Donna said gingerly as she walked into the office shortly after Harvey entered. She had to prepare him for the email before he read it. “Did you check your emails?”

“Not yet. I just got in.” Harvey raised his eyebrow. Donna knew he didn’t like to think about work during the ride into work. 

“You have an email from Mike. It’s not…good.” Donna bit her lip; she patted his arm before closing the door. 

He sat in front of his computer; he inhaled deeply, steeling himself before he opened the email. 

_Dear Harvey,_  
 _I want to thank you for everything that you have done for me. The opportunity that I had at Pearson Specter is something I will never forget. We may have had rough times that tested our friendship, but I hope that you can accept this letter of resignation. I am staying in LA._  
 _Mike._

Harvey took a shaky breath closing his eyes. This was the end. He knew it was coming, he had just hoped it wouldn’t. Mike didn’t even sign it like he wasn’t sure how to end it either.

“Harvey, what are you going to do?” Donna asked. She had watched his face contort into sadness as he read every word. It broke her heart. Mike didn’t just leave her; he left Harvey through an email. At the end of the letter, Donna watched the toughest person she knew barely keep it together. She knew there was going to be scotch later. Lots of scotch. 

He cleared his throat, stood buttoning his jacket; he needed fresh air. “I’m going to inform Jessica that an associate just quit then I’m going to get to work on Stark’s case. Can you pack up Mike’s desk?”

“Harvey, that’s not what I meant and you know it.”

“What do you expect me to do? You read his letter he’s staying in LA. He chose McCarthy.” Harvey spun at her. He flexed his hand trying to relieve the frustration building. “He chose McCarthy.” He repeated. 

“That’s because you didn’t do anything to fight for him. You let McCarthy snatch Mike up. I guess I was wrong. You never really loved Mike.”

“I do…I did. But he wasn’t happy here, Donna.”

“Because you didn’t give him a reason to stay.”

“What should I do then?”

“Fight for him. Fly out to LA, tell him you love him, and convince him to come back home to New York.”

“He wouldn’t want to see me.”

“You sound like a man who gave up before even trying. How can you call yourself Harvey Specter?” Donna said shaking her head disappointed with her friend. “Because the Harvey Specter I know wouldn’t give up not like this.” She turned on her heels, picked up a box by her desk, and walked to the bullpen leaving Harvey to figure out his next move.

**> >>**

Harvey stood at the arrivals board looking for the LA inbound flights swearing when he noticed that the flight was delayed. He knew he should have called the airline before coming down.

“Harvey?” A voice sounded behind Harvey. He turned around toward the familiar voice. A soft smile tugged at his lips noticing the other man. It didn’t seem like any time passed since the last time he saw those clear sparkling blue eyes he first fell in love with.

“Mike.” He said softly. “What are you doing here?”

“Waiting.”

Harvey nodded. “It’s good to see you. How have you been?”

“Good. Really good.” Mike replied shifting his weight. They stood staring at each other unsure of what to say. For the first time they were at a loss for words. “So…um…waiting for someone?”

“Flight’s delayed apparently there’s a snow storm in the mid west. Flight got grounded.”

“I see. Shoot. It’s not Flight 250 from LA, is it?” 

Mike swore when Harvey nodded. More awkward silence followed, neither of them sure of what to do or say.

“Do you want to go to the bar while we wait?” Harvey asked clearing his throat trying to relieve the uncomfortable silence. Alcohol was probably not a good idea based on their track record, though.

“Sure, since we’re going to be waiting for awhile.” Mike shrugged his shoulders. He shivered slightly in the New York chill. 

“Cold?”

“Yeah. Not used to it. I mean LA gets kind of cold, but not like this.”

“It has been awhile.”

The deafening silence made the short walk to the bar seem like miles. By the time they reached the place thousands of questions floated in Harvey’s mind. Every question Harvey wanted to ask seemed to get stuck on his tongue. He took a long drink of his scotch hoping that it would loosen it. After all a drunken man says what the sober man thinks.

“What have you been doing? Practicing law still?” 

“You know I can’t especially not out there. Nah, I’m an book editor.” Mike replied drinking his beer.

“At McCarthy’s company?”

“Yeah. It’s been great. Amazing, really. I guess editing all those case files paid off.” Mike laughed nervously.

“I’m glad.”

“What about you?” Mike asked glancing at Harvey. He looked older. The lines around his eyes were deeper, but he still had those soulful brown eyes. It always seemed like Harvey managed to look into his very being and know exactly what he wanted. Being this close to Harvey after all these years stirred up a yearning Mike hoped Harvey wouldn’t notice.

“Still at Pearson Specter. Still a lot of politics in a law firm. I missed my calling as a politician. I could have been president.”

“Can’t say I miss that. That’s a scary thought, you president.” Mike laughed. 

Harvey chuckled. It almost felt…normal laughing with Mike beside him again. But he couldn’t ignore the elephant in the room any longer.

“Who are you waiting for?” Harvey asked swallowing thickly. He didn’t want to hear the answer, but he had to know. 

Mike picked at the label on his bottle before responding. “Adam…and our son. He’s almost five we thought the schools out here were better so we decided to move back. I came ahead of them to scout out schools.” Mike couldn’t look at Harvey. It wasn’t like he was ashamed of his life he just didn’t want to see the look on Harvey’s face.

“Oh.” Harvey’s heart still dropped even though he wasn’t expecting anything less. He had read the newspaper: a young rising-star editor who married the president of Squared Publishing and adopted a son years later. Harvey was a masochist. Yet, it was still comforting to know that Mike was doing well and that he was happy. 

“What about you?” Mike said clearing his throat.

“Scottie had a client out in LA, and she’s finishing up now.” Harvey replied taking a sip of his scotch.

“So you two worked out, huh?” Mike asked. He smiled glad that Harvey found someone to settle down with. Maybe that knowledge would help settle the storm brewing within him.

“We’re just friends.” Harvey said fueling the desire within Mike. Mike had to keep reminding himself that he had a happy life with Adam and his son. 

Silence fell between as they drank their drinks.

“I thought about going to see you.” Harvey said finally into his glass. Mike raised his eyebrow. “I made a speech and everything. Wrote down what I was going to say. I was going to tell you to come back because quitting through an email was complete bullshit. I taught you better than that. But mostly I was going to tell you sorry for what happened and that I loved you.”

“But you didn’t.” Mike turned to look at Harvey frowning.

“I didn’t.” Harvey nodded. “Thought about it, but I couldn’t do it.”

“Why?”

“McCarthy was better for you than I would have been at the time.”

“So you made my choice for me? Why didn’t I get a say?”

“Because we know who you would have chosen.” Harvey muttered. “You would have chosen him.”

“You’re such an idiot.” Mike shook his head. “I would have chosen you. My world revolved around you. I wanted you for so long. Then we slept together and…I thought you wanted to be with me. And then…” Mike shook his head again not wanting to relive the moment. “But then you let me go. You never once fought for me. You just let me go. If you loved me, why didn’t you fight for me? McCarthy, he fought. He knew I had feelings for you but he took a chance. You…never.”

“I was scared. Still am.”

“There was nothing to be scared of it was just me.”

“Since it was you, there was everything to be scared of. I still love you.” Harvey replied looking straight into Mike’s eyes trying to convey every feeling he had held onto over the years.

“I…”Mike started his face contorted into a look of pity and sadness. “I love Adam. I don’t know what you’re trying to achieve by telling me this now.”

“I don’t know either…you needed to hear it at least once from me.” Harvey said shrugging. He tried not to let his disappointment show. In all honesty he was hoping that Mike would come back to him.

Second chances were a lie.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can see it in your eyes you mean all of what you say
> 
> I remember so long ago, see I felt that same way
> 
> Now we both have separate lives and lovers
> 
> Insignificantly enough we both have significant others
> 
>   
> 
> 
> "A Day Late" - Anberlin 
> 
>   
> Side note: This author doesn't know much about the weather in LA or NY or Flight numbers.
> 
> I know what some of you are thinking: Is this it for Harvey and Mike? Did Harvey really let Mike go? Buuuut THIS IS NOT THE END! There will be one more chapter. I'm just evil and wanted to end it on a cliffhanger (of sorts). You'll find out what happened and what will happen in the final chapter!
> 
> Will Mike stay with Adam or will he go with Harvey?
> 
> Feel free to speculate in the comments!


	4. Give Me a Reason

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just give me a reason
> 
> Just a little bit's enough
> 
> Just a second we're not broken just bent
> 
> And we can learn to love again
> 
> It's in the stars
> 
> It's been written in the scars on our hearts
> 
> We're not broken just bent
> 
> And we can learn to love again
> 
>   
> 
> 
> "Just Give Me a Reason" - P!nk
> 
>   
> Some times some things are just worth fighting for. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is the conclusion of the story! And Mike's decision.  
> Thanks for going on Mike's and Harvey's journey with me. Thanks for all the Kudos, subscriptions, and comments!

**Chapter 4: Give Me a Reason**

  


The airplane shook violently jolting Harvey awake from his terrible dream. He slowly blinked into consciousness taking in the bright blue sky. 

“This is your captain. We hit a patch of turbulence. We will arrive in LA in two hour.” Harvey barely heard the Captain say over the intercom. Had it really only seven hours ago that he decided to chase after Mike? His head was still swimming from he dream. Every cell in his body was thrumming with apprehensive excitement. 

With every shaky breath Harvey remembered the dream. He clenched the armrest tightly trying to convince himself that this was the right thing to do. That just because he dreamt about Mike leaving him didn’t mean that would actually happen. The thing that unnerved him the most was that he could see Mike settling down into a legitimate job and raising a kid. He could see Mike being happy with that kind of life. He just wasn’t sure if he was ready for that.

“Nervous flier?” The elderly man sitting next to Harvey asked.

“Not really, just have a lot on my mind.” Harvey mumbled not really wanting to talk to a stranger.

“Seems like you could use someone to talk to, and sometimes a stranger is the best person to talk to.” The man replied. Harvey turned his head realizing he actually said what he was thinking out loud. “I’m Adam.” A friendly smile grew on Adam’s face.

“You’re kidding right? This is a dream. It has to be. There is no way your name is the same name as his.” Harvey scoffed but still relaxed his shoulders incrementally. 

“Adam is a common name. So tell me what’s bothering you. You look like the world hinges on this flight. What’s, or who’s, waiting for you in LA?” Adam winked at Harvey.

Harvey didn’t reply automatically. Couldn’t really because he wasn’t even sure. “I made a mistake. Someone I love is out there.”

“We all have someone we let go when we should have held on. But there’s still a chance.”  
Harvey shook his head. “He just quit his job to move out here to be with his new boyfriend. I never fought for him. I just let him go.” This stranger was just going to tell him how pathetic he was anyways.

“You’re the bravest person I know.”

Harvey surprised turned to stare at Adam. 

“Not many people would chase after the person they love especially when they found someone else.”

“He asked me to give him a reason to stay and I couldn’t even tell him I love him.” Harvey said relaxing in his seat as much as he could in his economy seat. “He wanted me to fight for him, to tell him the truth. I couldn’t.”

“The point is that you’re fighting for him now. Sometimes it takes the person leaving for us to completely understand what we are missing. It’s a sad truth. Millie, my wife, she’s waiting for me in LA. Every time I have to take these long trips out to New York, I feel like a part of me is missing. She can’t travel, you see I love her to pieces but she has a bad everything, and well I have a daughter and granddaughter who live in New York so I have to visit as often as I can.”

“You? Is Millie not the mom?” Harvey raised his eyebrow, his lawyer skill honing in on the detail.

“You’re sharp. No, she isn’t. But my children think of Millie as their mom. My first wife passed away when my youngest, the one who lives in New York, was five. Then Millie and I got married and she helped raise my kids. She never had biological children says the three are her children.” Adam said smiling fondly. “Millie is the one who I let go when I should have held on. We were high school sweethearts. But it was 1961, the beginning of the Vietnam War. I decided to enlist and, well, we lost touch. I never talked to her even when I came back and knew she lived in the same house. It took 30 years, but we reconnected like a day never passed between us. I may appreciate her now, but I can’t help but wonder what life would have been like with her.”

“I’m glad every thing worked out for you and Millie.” Harvey smiled. “I never thought he’d leave.”

“We never do. Let me ask you, do you love him? Even if there is doubt in your heart, do you love him?”

Harvey nodded for the first time he was admitting it to someone other than Donna that he was in love with Mike. 

“Then it just seems like you need someone to say you’re doing the right thing. If you don’t you’ll regret it everyday for the rest of your life. You’ll always wonder what could have happened if you did something.”

“But what if…” Harvey started.

“Listen, son, if he doesn’t hop onto the return flight with you then you know your answer. But giving up before you even try will leave you questioning what could have been forever. He will forever think that you never loved him. I think everyone should know that they are loved.” Adam said patting Harvey’s knee. “Don’t you agree? People say loving someone is scary. To me, it’s being loved that is scary, that’s what we’re really afraid of. It’s scarier than fighting in Vietnam. I’ll tell you why. In order to be loved means that we have to be vulnerable because we have to show the person the darkest parts of ourselves that we wish we could hide. But being loved makes us so much stronger because you know the person loves you when they accept you, even the dark parts of you. And I think that’s something worth fighting for.”

Harvey smiled softly. “Did you have to fight for Millie?”

“Yes. That’s why I’m speaking from experience. When we reconnected, she was unhappily married and I was struggling to raise my family. It started off slow. She didn’t want to leave her marriage and who was I to force her? That was until I finally told her the truth that I never stopped loving her all those years. She was the one who got me through the war. We never looked back.” Adam answered. He pulled out his wallet showing Harvey his family. “She’s in the beginning stages of dementia. So I remind her everyday how much I love her even with the dementia. I can’t help but think about all those days she spent not being told how much I loved her.”

“Thank you.” Harvey whispered. “I’ll tell him.”

“Good. As you should.” Adam said before settling back into his seat. “Now this old man needs to sleep if he’s going to see the love of his life and fall in love with her all over again.”

Harvey chuckled to himself and rehearsed what he was going to say to Mike when he saw him.

The rest of the flight was rather uneventful after the conversation he had with Adam. By the time the wheels touched the tarmac, Harvey was a bundle of nervous energy.

“You never…you weren’t…” Harvey started, turning back to his companion at the baggage claim. He wasn’t sure why he was asking.

“Why I never asked if you’re gay?” Adam asked.

Harvey nodded.

“Because it’s not my place to ask. Also, my son is gay. I would never trade him for anything he isn’t. Although there are times…he’s rambunctious keeps getting into squabbles with some lawyer.”

“It’s not McCarthy Adam McAdams is it?” Harvey said praying, for the first time, that his new friend’s son wasn’t McCarthy.

“What am I a sadist?” Adam asked waving goodbye to Harvey as he walked to an elderly lady, Harvey could only assume was Millie, carrying a bouquet of flowers.

**> >>**

Hailing a cab at LA wasn’t difficult, not compared to the next part of Harvey’s mission. Donna was able to retrieve Mike’s new address from personnel. Apparently someone owed her a favor. But when the cab drove up to the iron wrought fence, Harvey didn’t know what he was supposed to say. Moving on autopilot, he got out of the cab and paid for his fare. On the wall near the fence, Harvey held the intercom button down waiting for an answer.

“Shit. Hello.” Mike answered swearing sounding like he rushed to the intercom and in the process stubbed his toe.

“Mike. It’s me.”

“Harvey?” Mike stumbled back against a wall. Harvey was the last person he was expecting to show up. Donna maybe, but never Harvey.

“Mike? Open the gate. I don’t want to climb the fence.”

“You wouldn’t.” Mike said composing himself. He reminded himself that Harvey was probably just here for some business reason. 

“I would if it meant seeing you.” Harvey’s voice crackled loudly over the intercom. 

Before Mike could realize what a terrible idea this was his finger was pressing the button to let Harvey in. He never could say no to Harvey.

Harvey took a deep breath, straightened his tie, and walked up the gravel driveway. The house was a simple design matching McCarthy’s style. Harvey realized it was also Mike’s style as well. Simple, not too much luxury, just the necessity. By the time Harvey reached the door, Mike was waiting outside. 

Once Harvey was in view, looking stunning in a suit as usual, Mike breathed heavily unsure of what to do. Adam was at work so seeing Harvey alone was probably not the smartest decision he ever made besides becoming a fake lawyer…or dealing drugs, which actually led to the fake lawyer. Even if Adam were here, Mike would still feel compelled to find out why Harvey flew all way out here. 

“Harvey.” Mike said once Harvey stood in front of him. Mike stood in front of the doorway unwilling to invite him inside. He crossed his arms across his chest hoping to still his pounding heart.

“Mike.” Harvey nodded. He soaked Mike in noting all of the small changes a month of LA made. He was tanner like he went to the beach or went hiking; it was very slight but it was enough for Harvey to notice. McCarthy liked the wilderness, just another difference between Harvey and McCarthy. Sure he could appreciate nature, but he was still a city guy through and through. The most nature he saw on any given day was during his jog through Central Park. Plus, he never had time to go on a hike. But he remembered Mike tried to get him to go hiking with him before McCarthy.

_“Do you stay here all the time? Do you ever go out and just enjoy nature? We should go hiking one day.” Mike asked throwing a file down onto the table. They were working on a particularly difficult case when Mike decided that it was time for a break._

_“What is there to enjoy? There’s mud.” Harvey cocked his eyebrow staring at Mike’s smirk._

_“Right. Don’t want to get mud on your suit.” Harvey gave a noncommittal shrug that neither agreed nor disagreed with Mike. “I’m serious! Who hikes in a suit anyways? Before, I used to bike up to the mountains every weekend. It was amazing out there. Being surrounded by nature and breathing it all in. It’s freeing.”_

_“That was back before you had a real job.” Harvey rolled his eyes. Mike frowned before shaking his head smiling. “Plus, who said I didn’t enjoy nature?”_

_“You did. Mud, remember? Or are you getting old?”_

_“I was referring to hiking. There’s mud when you go hiking.”_

_“Not on every trail or all year around.”_  
 _Harvey sighed. “Mike, what’s your point? Because if you haven’t noticed it’s almost 3 AM and I would like to go home at some point.”_

_“I was just thinking we should go hiking. It’d be fun. You can have the wind blow through your hair and you can smell the trees.”_

_“I can get the wind from my balcony and I can smell trees when I go jogging through the Park.”_

_“It’s different though. Up on the mountain, it’s kind of liberating, standing at the top of the mountain looking out into the world because in that moment I felt like I was someone instead of a small nobody. I was someone.” Mike said smiling to himself like it was a cherished memory._

_“You are someone…to me…I mean the firm.” Harvey said softly. A faint blush started spreading from his cheeks down. “Do you see? It’s late. I’m tired. Let’s just call it a day.” Harvey said quickly. He stood up grabbed his jacket and started heading for the door before turning, “You coming, Rookie?”_

_“Yeah.” Mike whispered biting his lip._

Mike nervously scratched his temple waiting for Harvey to continue. Rolling his eyes, Mike asked, “Harvey? Why are you here?”

As he was pulled back from the memory, Harvey blinked like he just remembered where he was. He cleared his throat; “I came to bring you back home.”

“Say what?” Mike blinked several times as if he was trying to wake up from a strange dream. That was definitely not something he was expecting. “I am home.”

“No. To New York, where you belong.”

“Harvey, I belong here with Adam.”

“I know.” Harvey replied.

A pregnant silence followed as Harvey tried to remember what he was supposed to say. It seemed liked he forgot how to pronounce every single word.

“Well, if that’s it then, thanks for stopping by.” Mike said fumbling behind him for the door. Before Harvey could stop him, Mike was closing the door biting his lip trying to remember how to breathe. Never in a million years, did he think Harvey would come here wanting him to go back to New York. Never. He leaned against the door waiting for the crunch of the gravel. When there was none, he closed his eyes, clenching his fist tightly so that they wouldn’t open the door because he opened his heart too many times to that man who kept shutting it. It was his turn to close the door.

Harvey pressed his forehead against the closed door and sighed. “Mike…please, open the door.” 

Harvey’s whisper resonated through Mike like it was the last plea from a dying man. Mike let out a shaky breath, “After that night we slept together, I thought…we could…be something. But Harvey, you’re the one who told me that night was a mistake. You said…it meant nothing to you. So why now?” Mike asked pressing his forehead against the door.

“It took me this long to realize what I was missing.”

“You want me because you can’t have me?” Mike asked flabbergasted as he threw open the door. 

“What? That’s not what I meant.” Harvey replied dragging his hand down his face. “It’s just seeing you with McCarthy I realized that this entire time I wanted to be the one to make you laugh.” 

“How do you think I felt? Seeing you with someone new every day?” Mike asked folding his arms across his chest. “I know you knew how I felt about you. The whole office knew.”

“I was scared. Every time I’ve opened myself up I’ve gotten hurt. And I know that if you hurt me it would end me. We wouldn’t be able to work together.”

“Don’t you think I’ve been hurt before? How do I know you won’t hurt me? Because guess what Harvey you did. You let me go.”

“That wasn’t my intentions.”

“I asked you to give me a reason to stay. You didn’t. So I left.”

“I didn’t want you to leave especially not 3,000 miles.”

“Harvey why are you here? I’m happy.”

“I want you back.”

“You never had me because you never wanted me. Adam wants me.” Mike all but shouted at Harvey. He couldn’t believe that Harvey was still treating him like a toy to be fought over.

Harvey sighed frustrated, realizing that the conversation wasn’t going the way it was supposed to. “Look, I’m sorry, Mike. You asked me to give you a reason why you shouldn’t leave, and I didn’t give you one. But I am now. I—I love you and I should have told you. But I just couldn’t say the words.” Mike could see the tension written along Harvey’s jaw as he fought to find the words. “The time that I caught my mom, I heard her say those words to her lover and later she said them to my dad. Ever since then I didn’t think those words had any meaning in them. But these past few months…” Harvey paused licking his lip. “I love you; and I’m sorry it took me this long to realize it. Do you honestly think I would come out here if I didn’t.”

“I know about your fears about infidelity. And I know I haven’t given you much reason to trust me in that sense. But…that’s not it. That’s not the whole truth.” Mike said. This was what he wanted for so long, for Harvey to open to him. But it came at the worst time.  
“Mike I don’t—I can’t do an intra-office affair with you.”

“You’re kidding right? I know you and Donna had a moment.”

“How’d you know?”

“Really? I was guessing. You’re such a hypocrite.”

“No, Mike, you’re making this difficult.” Harvey said raking his hand through his hair. “It’s not that I don’t do intra-office relationships. It’s every time I had one it never worked out. There was always work tension in the middle of the relationship. With Scottie and I, we were always working; we couldn’t go on a date without arguing about a case. Work would always get in the way. I just couldn’t risk that with you. I couldn’t let work be the reason we break up. I don’t know if our work relationship would have been able to handle that. Because I know if I ever got a taste of you, I wouldn’t be able to work with you if something happened. It would kill me to see you everyday, but not be able to hold you.”

“Don’t patronize me with that ‘it’s not you, it’s me’ crap because if you haven’t noticed that hasn’t been working out.” Mike said scoffed. “You had a chance.”

“I know. But I just couldn’t let you go without fighting for you. I realized that when you left, I never fought for you.” Harvey said cupping Mike’s cheek. If Mike leaned into it, it was only because it was the first time Harvey ever touched him this tenderly since that night.

“Your timing sucks you know. I love Adam.”

“I know.”

“You had so much time to figure it out.” Mike rambled. “I gave you so many chances. I could have been with Rachel, but I waited for you because I thought we could have been something.”

“I know.”

“But, Harvey, I don’t know if you really love me or if you just don’t want to be abandoned and left behind.” Mike said gnawing on his lip. “Because that’s what it seems like you’re doing. I know my resignation letter was…”

“Crappy?”

“For lack of better words.” Mike tilted his head. “It took me writing that letter for you to do something. Harvey, you’re too late. Maybe if you had pulled your head out of ass earlier…I loved you. We would have been good together.”

“I know.” Harvey nodded solemnly. “Good bye Mike.” Harvey said turning to leave not daring to look back at the pity on Mike’s face. He fought. What more could he do?

**> >>**

“Do how’d it go?” Donna asked once Harvey returned to the office the following Monday. “I didn’t hear from you so I assumed there was some sexy times.” Donna winked.

“He’s staying.” Harvey replied stopping briefly at Donna’s desk to pick up his memos.  
Donna looked at the dark circles under her boss’s eyes taking in the deep sadness that seemed to be etched into his soul. “Oh…I’m sorry.”

Harvey shrugged his shoulders. “I fought for him.” With that he continued into his office looking down at the memos Donna had handed to him.

“You didn’t really. You kind of just unloaded your feelings onto me and then walked away.” Mike said turning Harvey’s desk chair around to face him. “You suck at feelings, by the way.”

“I know.” Harvey said trying to remain composed even though his brain seemed to be stuck repeating ‘Mike is here’ over and over. “Am I dreaming? What is he doing here?” He turned to ask Donna because no one gets past her without her knowing. Donna shrugged her shoulders smiling before closing the door behind her. “How long have you been here?”

“In your office? The moment Donna came in. If you mean New York, not too long ago.”

“What are you doing here? I thought you’re in love with McCarthy.” 

“You see, so did I.” Mike said standing to face Harvey. “After you unloaded a year’s worth of feelings, I tried to forget everything you said. I tried to remind myself that I was over you. So I spent a lot of my energy trying to be in love with Adam…”

“Please don’t go into the details.” Harvey interrupted wincing.

Mike rolled his eyes. “Anyways, but see I couldn’t, forget you that is. I never could. I thought leaving New York would help, but it didn’t. LA still reminded me of you. There’s no place in the world that wouldn’t remind me of you. I realized I love you more than Adam. He’s different from you, really different. I was happy with him. I know I could be content with him. But it also means that you’re different from him. And I love your different more. Where he complements me, you challenge me to be a better version of myself.” Mike paused. “I don’t think I ever stopped loving you. I don’t think I can.” 

“What about McCarthy?”

“He knew that something was up after your unloading the minute he came home. But I couldn’t exactly tell him. He found out some how that you came to LA. So, this morning he gave me a round-trip ticket, just in case things don’t work out.” Mike shrugged his shoulders.

“By the way, Harvey, that’s how you fight for someone. Not unload all of your constipated emotions like—“ Donna’s voice suddenly sounded through the intercom.

“Thank you, Donna we get it.” Harvey quickly said cutting her off. He clicked the intercom off.

“Harvey I get it, you know; you’re worried that I’m going to be like your mom, that I’m going to leave you. But I’m worried about that too.” Mike said softly.

Harvey shook his head. “That’s not what I am worried about. After I left, I thought about it. Everyone thinks that I’m scared of commitment because of that. But that’s not it. I’m terrified that I’m going to be like her. I know it’s stupid and it’s not how genetics works, but I’m scared that she passed on some gene or something that predisposes me to infidelity. For my parents it was all about love at first sight. When I met you I fell in love with you instantly. It like the same story all over again. What if I turn out to be like her? I can’t let you love me only to hurt you like that. I know what it feels like. So I tried to convince myself that what I felt for you wasn’t serious; that it wasn’t anything.” Harvey licked his lip stepping closer to Mike. “But I can’t any more. Mike…I am scared.”

Mike stared into trembling eyes, amazed at the strongest person he knew trusted him at his most vulnerable. He smiled realizing that this entire time Harvey was scared not of being hurt, but of hurting him. “I’m scared too, Harvey, not of you hurting me. I have my fears. I’m scared that you’ll die. Everyone I have ever cared about died, they left me. What if I’m a harbinger of death?” Mike replied, but before Harvey to argue, Mike continued. “But I’m willing to take the chance, if you are.” Mike cupped Harvey’s cheek pressing a gentle kiss that quickly turned into an all-consuming kiss. Harvey’s hand snaked under Mike’s shirt pulling him flush against him.

No one was getting in between them again.

**> >>**

**One Year Later**

A year quickly passed. Within a few short months Mike was moving in with Harvey. There were romantic and practical reasons. Mike was already spending every minute he could next to Harvey. Both Mike and Harvey were the happiest they have ever been. There were fights, more like disagreements, every so often. But it was normal. It helped them appreciate each other more. Of course there was a hike every so often.

Initially Harvey wanted Mike to come back to the firm, but even if Jessica was willing to (she wasn’t), Mike didn’t want to. Sure, he loved the law, but he felt like there was more to life than being a pretend lawyer. So, he decided to go back to college and finally graduate with degrees in psychology and English. Even though Mike and Adam ended things, they remained friends. He even offered Mike a part-time editing job with the promise that it would be full-time once he finished school.

They were happy and in love.

The restaurant was bustling with energy. It wasn’t Harvey’s idea of an anniversary dinner. He was thinking more of a five-star restaurant. But it was what Mike wanted, and not that he would ever tell Mike, his burger was amazing.

“Mike?”

Mike pulled the burger he was about to bite into away as his eyes moved up the tall lean body until finally settling on the familiar green eyes.

“Adam!” Mike exclaimed. Dropping the burger, he wiped on a napkin before hugging Adam. “What are you doing here? You should have called.”

“I was going to after my business.” Adam replied. He turned to Harvey. “Hey Harvey.”

Harvey nodded.

“You should join us.” Mike suggested.

“Actually I’m here with my dad.” Adam pointed to an elderly man sitting at a table smiling at Harvey.

“You’re kidding me.” Harvey said shaking his head. “I asked him…”

“What are you talking about?”

“I sat next to him on the plane when I went to see you in LA. He told me the story about him and McCarthy’s mom.” Harvey smiled recalling the romantic story. “He’s the one who confinced me to fight for you when I started to doubt everything.”

“Him and my mum?” Adam asked quizzically.

“Yeah, he told me how they fell in love in high school only to have a war separate them for decades. But managing to find their way back to each other. And now with the dementia, he reminds her everyday how much he loves her.” 

Adam leaned over bracing himself on the table as laughter erupted from him. “That’s the plot for one of his books.” Adam laughed. “Don’t tell me he told you my mum’s name is Millie.”

“Yeah.” Harvey said slowly.

“Millie is the wife’s name in the book! My mum’s name is Esme and they met when my dad was an exchange student in Perth in college.” Adam laughed harder. “You got played by an old man. The great Harvey Specter outplayed by an old man!” 

Harvey was stunned as he stared at the smiling old man. “Does she have dementia or is that in the book too?”

“The book. My mum does have arthritis so traveling on a plane is difficult for her.”

“I hate your whole family.” Harvey said scowling at the two McAdams. From the way the elderly man was laughing, he realized that Harvey discovered the truth. 

“Thanks Harvey.” Adam said patting him on the shoulder. “But, hey, you may hate us, but we’re amazing at setting people up. I’ll call you later Mike.” Adam added before walking back to his father.

“You didn’t tell me you met Adam’s dad.” 

“I didn’t know. I asked him and he said he wasn’t a sadist. I should have known.” Harvey shook his head. “But he’s right. If they hadn’t interfered I don’t know where we would have been.”

“I think Adam won this battle, then.” Mike said chuckling. He leaned in to kiss Harvey.

“Not important any more. You’re not a prize to be won because if you were then I clearly won.” Harvey breathed, nipping at Mike’s lip. “I love you.”

Mike smiled. “I love you, too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't forget to leave a comment! :)  
> Until next time!


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